We gather here today to pray for the Boston Bruins to win this game. Please join me in completing all of your pre game hockey rituals weather they include wearing your favorite jersey, knocking on wood so you don’t jinx them, or eating until you explode. Whatever it may be, do your rituals and then pray to the hockey Gods that the Bruins we have come to know and love will show up tonight. Amen.
hockey is such a shitty sport lets all become curling fans instead